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I went to the gym for my Consultation today. That sounds very impressive, doesn’t it, a Consultation? Very impressive.

I was not looking forward to it at all. I have never been Consulted at a gym before. It turned out to be fine. My strong opinions were not swept away by Somebody Who Knows Better, so, y’know. It was fine. (“Okay, cardio,” the guy says. “What kind of cardio are you interested in?”

“I will not run for you,” I said flatly. “I’ll swim, cycle, row, whatever, but I will not run.”

He wrote down “no running.” Good Consultant. Have a cookie.)

Anyway, I was Consulted and Weighed and Measured and as Ted said, “They weighed me in kilograms, but at least they didn’t have to use metric tonnes,” and I told Consultation Guy I was interested in having the arm and waist and thigh etc measurements but not in knowing what they were, because I’m genuinely not interested in the actual number. But I’ve often thought, after several months of working out, “I should have measured to see where I started,” and so now I have a record to look back on sometime, which is potentially interesting. Consultation Guy was fine with that.

What, he wanted to know, were my goals. Stress relief, primarily (“hard job?” he asked, and I didn’t have the wit to say “PARENT, SO YEAH” because mostly I was thinking “more like afraid we’re all going to die in a nuclear holocaust, actually”) but core strengthening and weight loss would be nice too. Free weights or machines, “Free weights,” I said, and then I went out and prodded at the machines and was like “dang I’m gonna need a primer on using these things because they’ve gotten a lot fancier since I used them regularly, ai.” And he asked a couple other, well, he asked a bunch of other things but anyway that was the gist of all that Consultation.

And the result is that he’ll work up a workout for me (one that will not, I presume, involve running) and I get to try it tomorrow.

In the meantime I did a smol exercise on my own. I did about ten minutes of dance floor exercise, poked at a couple machines, and did ten or twelve minutes on a stationary bike. I’m sure I’ll feel it tomorrow, but I’m sure it’ll be nothing like the anticipated crippling agony on Thursday or Friday….

I’m going to need a gym icon if I blog about this much more. Should I blog about it more?

(x-posted from The Essential Kit)

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C.E. Murphy

July 2017

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