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I’ve had this to-do list for…ever. Forever. Very little of it is the fun kind of to-do, which for me is YAY WRITE A WHOLE NEW BOOK YAY THIS IS MY FAVOURITE PART. It’s all the other stuff. It’s edits and copyedits and guilting over unwritten short stories

(I was going to really try to focus on writing…I was going to say ‘good’, but I write good enough short stories. But twisty, deep ones, perhaps. I want to add that to my skill set. So I was going to try focusing on learning how to write those. And then I realized I’ve got so much else actually *due* that it would be moronic to try to add that to my plate. It’s probably mostly a reaction to admiring people who win Hugos or sell short stories independently, anyway, and sort of vaguely wishing I was Like Them, and I usually get over that. Even if I really would like to be able to write more independent, clever, intelligent short stories. I’ll stop being parenthetical now and try to get back to the point.)

and all the little details of self publishing that I haven’t, for one reason or another, managed to hand off to Ted, and anyway, I usually have a Thinks To Do list but this has been my Nibbled To Death By Ducks list, and I’m about two years behind on all of it. Which is a lot of catching up to do.

But I am THIS CLOSE to being caught up/done with TWO projects, and it’s starting to be a Big Psychological Relief.

I’m finalized-cover-art away from launching BEWITCHING BENEDICT, my adorkable magic-free Regency romance, and I’m copy-edits-and-book-layout away from delivering REDEEMER to my insanely patient backers, toward whom I feel so much guilt I want to cry every time I think about it. Those projects are almost done, and, just…*weeps* It’ll be such a relief to have those out.

And although the To Do list just…keeps…going…on…after that, I’m…I’m trying not to think that far ahead, honestly. I’m trying to just keep one project at a time in mind. If I think about it all I despair. Right now I just gotta get through Nibbled To Death.

September’s Nibbled To Death project is writing KISS OF ANGELS, which absolutely has to be done in September so I can get it into a general release launch in December (Patreon supporters will get it the instant it’s finished). I’m trying pretty desperately here to get myself into a quarterly release schedule, BUT I CANNOT THINK ABOUT THAT RIGHT NOW IT WILL LEAD TO DESPAIR

But once KISS OF ANGELS and three or four short stories are done, I’m…done, I think, with Nibbled To Death By Ducks. And that will be so. nice. *weeps*

(x-posted from The Essential Kit)

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It turned out re-reading HANDS OF FLAME was somehow slightly less weird than re-reading HOUSE OF CARDS, although it was ALSO full of things I either barely remembered, didn’t remember at all until it came to the moment of it happening, or remembered when something else triggered the memory but it turned out I was wrong about when it happened.

This is just full of spoilers, obviously, and so I’ll cut this entry here instead of letting most of it dangle out like I’ve done with the last two.

Read the rest of this entry » )

(x-posted from The Essential Kit)

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So this is the book I had to rip 2/3rds of out & rewrite and revise what was left in 6 weeks.

It turns out I’d forgotten a LOT of what happens in it. I actually got seriously invested in finding out what happens! That was weird! :)

Like, I had no idea Margrit got involved with the selkies so fast in it. Not that I could tell you when I *thought* she had, but…definitely not that fast. And although in the actual descriptions, Kaimana is meant to be shorter and bulkier than most of the other Old Races leaders, I was reading his introductory stuff and I thought OH MY GOD KAIMANA IS DUANE JOHNSON and now I’m totally in love with that idea. *laughs*

And then Margrit’s off to face down Daisani, right? Around chapter 10 or so? And Daisani’s all shocked she’s there that morning, “under the circumstances,” and I tell you what, although I remembered what The Circumstances were as soon as I read that sentence, I had COMPLETELY FORGOTTEN that Those Circumstances HAPPENED. And then I spent the rest of the book NOT SURE who had PERPETRATED Those Circumstances! I forgot whodunnit! In my own book!

Also there’s a bit in the book where Margrit describes the perfect ice cream as “chocolate with pralines and a caramel swirl,” which Haagen Dazs went on to make for several years. I’m not saying somebody was reading the Negotiator Trilogy, but I’m not sayin’ they weren’t, either! (It really was stupendously good ice cream, and tragically, they’ve discontinued it. #woe)

Oh, god, the ball. All I can really remember about the ball is that trying to get the timeline to work for this book/that scene was MURDEROUS. I remember having to compress the whole damn thing so it would work and just augh. It was awful. It worked out fine in the end, even I can’t tell that it was horrific to write, but seriously, I started reading the ballroom scene and I was like AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH NOOOOOOO THIS WAS SOOOOO BAAAAAAAAAAAD TO WRIIIIIIIIIITE :)

I’d totally forgotten about the tango, which…didn’t turn out the way I thought it would. I mean, it did, but also it didn’t. So I wonder how I might choose to write that now, except, y’know, I’m not gonna rewrite it so it doesn’t matter. :)

MARGRIT AND BIALI AT THE BALL! “You’re all right, for what you are.” AUGH! BIALI! MY HEART!

I liked the quorum scene, though. I actually didn’t know how the last vote was going to go. I was sitting there counting the characters and the votes on my fingers and trying to remember what would happen. I wonder if it was different in an earlier version of the manuscript, or if I just couldn’t remember. :)

If you’d asked me, I’d have said the scene with Rebecca at Trinity Church happened in the 3rd book, and that the (apparently upcoming) scene where Cam finds out The Truth About Alban was in this one. I would have been wrong. O.O (I’m quite impressed with myself for Cole’s characterization. It seems like there may have been some Editorial Disagreement over Cole’s level of flip-out/hatred/fear/anger, because he’s basically a decent guy, but re-reading it I think I wrote him right, and well. I said modestly. :))

Ok, my last observation falls more into spoiler territory so I’ll put it behind a cut….

Read the rest of this entry » )

(x-posted from The Essential Kit)

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I’m re-reading the Negotiator Trilogy, which I haven’t done since (before) they were published. I’m doing this so I can write KISS OF ANGELS, which is set (at least partially) after the trilogy, and in some ways I have only a vague idea of what the books are about. I mean, obviously I know what they’re about, but…

Some of you may know that the reason I haven’t written more book-length Old Races stories is that writing the Negotiator Trilogy was…awful. Just awful. Like, I had a small nervous breakdown, writing the third one. The Negotiator Trilogy is 375K long; I wrote well over a million words trying to get there. (For reference, the complete Walker Papers series, including “Banshee Cries” and the NO DOMINION collection, is just under 1.1 million words.)

The first book went through six major, massive revisions before publication.

The second book got an edit letter 6 months late that said “please insert a plot into this book” (that’s not really what it said at all, but that was the solution to what it DID say). It had to be torn apart and a plot forcibly inserted, which required throwing out and completely rewriting about 2/3rds of the book…during the time I was supposed to be writing the third book.

Because the revision letter for book 2 was so late, I’d started WRITING the third book, but because book 2 had no plot, and because there was a character I really desperately wanted to introduce in book 3 who it turned out didn’t belong there, I could not get book 3 written. I wrote between 200-300 pages six times before I got it right, and by that time I doubted myself so much I literally brought the manuscript, in tears, to my husband and said “please tell me if this works at all.”

On top of all that, the copy editor didn’t like my writing style and rewrote huge chunks of my sentences, leaving me to struggle with correcting them (this was before copy edits were done electronically) and leaving errors that remain in the books to this day.

It was an *awful* experience, and it’s why I’ve only ever written short stories and novellas in the world again. Even so it took me years to even consider that.

So! I know what happens in the books, but…not very clearly, because so many versions live in my head, and besides that, it’s been ten years. To write KISS OF ANGELS requires some revisiting of the old material.

I have never, ever (due to the reasons ennumerated above) wanted to re-read the Negotiator Trilogy. I’ve been hoping that they’d turn out to be good enough that, a decade after the fact, they could at least draw me in a little and make a re-read a modestly enjoyable task instead of a sisyphean one.

I’ve just finished HEART OF STONE, and it turns out they are!

In fact, there have been sentences and phrases that, if another author had written them, I would have been envious of the skill and wordcraft there! (That’s a real moment of cognitive dissonance, lemme tell you. :))

Nothing in the story has really *surprised* me, but there have been a number of times where I’ve gone, “Oh yes, this is the thing that happens here, I remember that,” and also, “OH I SEE WHAT I DID THERE, MAYBE NOBODY ELSE EVER SAW IT BUT I SEE WHAT I DID THERE I’M SO FUNNY AHAHAHAH” because I’m a great big dork. *laughs*

One of the things that is *particularly* interesting to me is that I had to work very hard to write Romancy Sensual Sexy Reactions stuff in that book, and I felt like, god, SO heavy-handed, SO awkward, SO awful. But re-reading it? It’s really not any of those things. Which is just fascinating. I mean, I was, like, embarrassed at the heavy-handedness of it all, when I wrote it. (Yes, yes, this from the same woman who wrote THE QUEEN’S BASTARD, but that book didn’t go through the evolution that HEART OF STONE did. TQB was (almost) always supposed to be full of smut. :))

Another thing that I kind of knew but which is much more obvious on re-reading is that holy cats, the short stories have different versions–sometimes MUCH different versions–of the backstory mentioned in the book. Like, there’s stuff in the book that’s just plain wrong, if the short stories are to be believed. Which, IMHO as the author, they are. :)

The nice thing is I’m totally okay with that. I figure two things: One, all of these characters are at least hundreds and often thousands upon thousands of years old, and one can hardly expect anybody to remember the truth accurately over that period of time.

Second, and much more importantly, many of these characters are inveterate liars anyway, and should never be assumed to ever be telling you the truth. (I mean, seriously. You wouldn’t trust Janx or Daisani, would you? You *shouldn’t*, anyway.) :)

Anyway, so now I’m on to reading HOUSE OF CARDS, and I’ll blog about that while I’m finishing it! <3 -Catie

(x-posted from The Essential Kit)

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C.E. Murphy

September 2017

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